Do you have a naughty child? How to teach to raise a child?

Childish love - nothing serious or important stage in the development?

Yes, how many times have I heard this phrase - “Everyone has children like children, and my ... so-and-so and kind.” Next come the enumeration of complaints and claims against the little tyrant, who by his willfulness tortured the whole family.

Everyone loves obedient children. They say "do not" - they do not. Showed how to - perform. Do not cause any inconvenience, always clean and smiling. Politeness and the desire to help were born before them. Do not touch the parents in moments of fatigue and irritation. They love to learn, paint in oils, articulate all the letters and remove toys without reminders. And yet, they, in my opinion, does not exist ... But there are real ones. With his "manners", perseverance, unwillingness to obey, curiosity, energy, shyness and an amazing feature of being yourself.

The saddest thing is that we know how to "need", but the child does not yet. Here we “educate” him, teach, scold, remake ... To fit.

And how without stories about how other kids are actively learning the alphabet, and give our machines. As the whole holiday was spoiled by a crumb, because all the children were quietly playing, and he alone rushed around the house and broke the tea set. Like other children, they sang harmoniously in the choir, while ours distracted, grimaced, mixed up the songs and “disgraced” the whole family. How ........ Other children behaved better than mine, which made ME infuriated / disappointed / disgraced / sad / so forth.

Dear parents, your baby is normal! And if his behavior is different from the behavior of others, this does not mean that he is bad. It has something unique, undisclosed.

I remember reading a story about a girl who did not sit still (today they would call her hyperactive), she did not study well at school, did not listen to what she was told, sang something under her breath and was constantly in motion. After being examined by a psychologist, she was sent ... to a ballet school. And she became a great ballerina!

This example inspires me! Well, of course! Since Soviet times, we have become accustomed to leveling. To be, like everyone else, not to stand out, not to distract, not to make sudden movements. Country governed and subordinate. And "brought up" people hard. Reprimand, general disapproval, plaque of shame, prison ... One must have remarkable courage to remain oneself.

But back to the children. It is hard to accept, but there are no bad or difficult children. This is an external assessment. The child accepts himself by any.

Unfortunately, the parents themselves “give” unconsciously to children the attitude to the world, to themselves, to it that they have. And he can resist it. And express as you can.

Even adults can not always adequately accept information about something.

Someone falls into a swoon when he cannot accept information that is frightening to himself. Someone is hiding, someone is running away, someone is screaming at everyone until the pain comes out. It is not always possible to “read” on the face of a child what knowledge he cannot accept, sometimes only a psychologist can help here.

• Compare the baby with others , with a margin in the wrong direction. Remember your childhood. There were few people who loved the best ones, especially if “it was necessary” to be equal to them. Compare the child with yourself. As a “grown”, became smarter and more wonderful.
• Call the child. Only deeds and behavior can be bad (see article - Guilt and shame. Do I need to vaccinate the child? ), not a child. Plus, calling him unflattering epithets, do not forget that you are also turning to yourself (Remember the anecdote - "Son, you are a pig. Do you know who the pig is? - I know. This is the son of a pig").
• Speak badly about other family members. You may hate your mother-in-law, but for him she is a beloved grandmother who is happy with him and dirty and shaggy. Leave talk about your peripetias with her friends. Treat your child's feelings with respect.
• Annoyed, angry, crying, showing the child that to bring up his real torment. I understand that it is difficult. Especially if our ideas about the ideal child are opposite to the existing one. But that's the beauty. Baby does not have to be the way we want. But we must take it for what it is. Perhaps for this we ourselves need to go through several sessions with a psychologist, but it will be worth it (Yes, it is we, the changes of the child begin with the change of parents).

Praise children more often. After all, we gave birth to them for this to give happiness! Even if he “has done” 500 unthinkable acts, but he has done one noble one - voice it with a large margin. And try to look at its differences from other children, as the uniqueness. And develop these abilities in talents. Direct in a peaceful course! And be sure - All children are like children, and yours is the best !

Do you notice the features of the baby? Are you able to remain calm and understanding at the moments when the baby does not behave like everyone else?