How to forgive the betrayal of his wife. Why change wives. Psychology. How to forgive adultery wife: is there a chance to save the family?
- Where do women's treason come from
- How to forgive
- How to restore relationships
- Infidelity yesterday, today and forever
- Man and women are wrong
- Infidelity: The Antidote to Monotony and Death
- The reasons
- The desire that makes you feel alive
- Is forgiveness possible?
- Reasons for forgiving infidelity
- This is an opportunity for personal growth.
- When is it worth giving a chance?
- Related videos
At all times in different cultures female infidelity was much more tragic than masculine. Often the intrigue for the husband remains frivolous short-lived communication. But when a girl changes, she first loses her inner inner connection with her man and only then decides to have an affair on the side. A female romance is usually associated with emotions and falling in love, and in time more long-term.
It is imperative that the “deceased” also analyze his possible part of the blame no matter how much his partner falls into the hands of another. Otherwise, there will always be doubts, and the deceived will experience jealousy, indignation and longing that will happen again. However, he acknowledges that forgiveness loving deception - This is a heroic effort of generosity, "because you need to forgive, and forgive the other." “You need to have endless patience,” said Marya Jace Blava Reyes. At a rational level, it can be overcome with time, but from an emotional point of view it is more difficult, because it is very normal that doubts always arise.
In addition, it is not as common as the male one, because in every representative of the weaker sex, nature itself seeks to preserve the family hearth, the roles of the spouse, the hostess, the mother are deeply absorbed in her with blood. Because if the wife has changed, then something is wrong in family life and it's time to think about what to do to save the family. To understand and excuse all beloved, you should understand possible reasons of what has already happened, why it happened and how to live on, how to forgive the wife and restore the marital union.
Everyone accepts it in a sense, but a deceived person often feels insecure, undervalued, and even sometimes with a desire for revenge. The less you know, the less damage, and the easier it will be to forgive. In these times, infidelity is in many cases a common currency. Some decide to end the relationship, while others prefer to forgive to give him a second chance.
Who said it’s easy to create a new account and start a relationship from scratch, knowing that they have betrayed us? Termination of relationships is not something simple, but forgiveness of infidelity is not a task that is solved day after day. As you know, trust is one of the most powerful tools for the attitude to work, and when it is lost, what you have accumulated for so many years dissolves.
Where do women's treason come from
- Female infidelity can be a response to a male similar act. If she constantly sees the heightened attention of her spouse to the representatives of her own sex, when he seeks to maintain close, sometimes too much communication with them, her desire to do likewise is quite natural. Sometimes it happens, after the spouse releases steam in such a way, the order in the family is improved. But the option is not excluded and the complete separation, if the husband can not forget the actions of his girlfriend, who easily forgives himself.
- A man may show insufficient attention to his half, which will seek to make up for the lack of on the side, in other people's, more caring, embraces. The same applies to financial security - some ladies go to the left because the lover is more generous to her, thus showing how much he is interested in her. In any case, what the house is missing, the girl will look outside of him.
- Sexual dissatisfaction also often causes intrigues, especially if the partner is more temperamental than her spouse.
- You should not exclude the age crisis - it happens not only in men, ladies are subject to it no less.
- The reason may be love - inspired by the delicate unusual behavior of a man, more romantic than a regular partner, for example. Or more sophisticated as a lover. Or when another man gives her everything missing in her life with her husband. Often this reason is the most common among those who may later become a reason for divorce.
- Curiosity is peculiar to some girls - it can also push a frivolous person into another's embrace.
- Perhaps you missed a difficult moment in the life of your girlfriend - she was in crisis, in stress, looking for support and did not find it in you.
Knowing these reasons, it is easier to determine for yourself the way to forgive the betrayal of a wife and live on with it further. Although none of the reasons justify the behavior of a traitor.
This is a second chance and attempt to reestablish the connection, which gradually decreased. No one likes to know that they were wrong to him, but it is important to recognize that if one of the two betrayed, there is a large percentage of things that did not work, or it is possible that something failed.
There is no guideline to confirm why a person is wrong, but there are several factors that can lead to this problem. The fact that relationships become routine, monotonous and boring, even in the sexual sphere. Family model: many people unconsciously copy family failures. For example, if his mother was wrong.
How to forgive
If you understand that infidelity is not just suspicion and fear, but concrete facts, the main thing in the first stage is not to fall into emotions and keep cool and prudence. First of all, decide for yourself what you want - to leave immediately or maintain family life. A man often cannot forgive betrayal, but if you imagine your life without her, you suffer, then it is better to take this step - to accept her repentance, no matter how difficult it may be. Perhaps her connection was a one-time, random and not worth the attention.
Look for new experiences: especially if these are relationships that started with guys and have not had the opportunity to experience in other respects. When love ends and you don’t know how to finish it: this is the most painful moment, because the relationship continues by habit or comfort, then this person starts to mourn while he is still in a pair.
Infidelity can be caused by a gap, as well as a profound change in the pair. In many cases, those who forgive suffer from anger and anger, and it is not great for any of them, because the problem will not be solved, and the suffering of the one who will forgive will remain hidden. That is, to start again, the relationship with the resentment of the skin flower does not make sense from any point of view. Sometimes you need to give yourself time to forgive, and not make hasty decisions that we can repent.
In any case, if you decide to keep in touch with your partner, you need to forget about what happened. Advice from a psychologist and psychotherapist can help to work and forget the betrayal of a wife. If this is a competent specialist, then you should not abandon them. His professional experience will help resolve the situation as painlessly and quickly as possible.
If this is true, it is worth a try. No one can assure you that you are failing or failing, in the relationship of the two only those people know what happened and is divided together, this includes good and bad moments, joys and discussions, therefore we must balance this how important the person is to the Other, and if we want to continue. Those who forgive must clearly indicate that they do not want to repeat, express themselves, improve dialogue and be clear. That is, the other understands that this is a new stage, as well as a last chance.
How to forgive the betrayal of his wife Specialist advice:
- Do not try to figure out all the details of what happened in the details.
- Try to understand what a spouse was looking for in a stranger, which was not enough for her in a marriage with you. Think what reasons could push her to this act. What was the reason for infidelity.
- Talk to your wife, listen to her motives. without criticism, but for understanding the situation. Keep yourself in hand and try to hear information, not emotions.
- You can disperse for some time and live separately, while the emotions subside and the mind can calmly make a decision. It will be easier for you to assess what kind of future you want for yourself — along with it, without which you cannot live, or away from it. And understand how to forgive the betrayal of his wife and save the marriage.
- Rate how important your feelings and life is with this partner. Remember what you connected before, how many wonderful moments you already had. Feel if you are ready to forget all this and leave it in the past. If you want to keep mutual feelings - these memories and purpose will be a great incentive for forgiveness.
- Think of common children if you have them. Imagine how they would react to parting, when their world is their parents as a whole. Then they will have to choose whom to love, perhaps - with whom to live, and for anyone this choice will not be easy. Sometimes, only for the sake of this, it is worthwhile to let go of the situation and restore your feelings towards your spouse, who were before her betrayal.
- It is necessary to forgive sincerely, without remembering later this case to her in every quarrel. So that this fact is not thrown into her face. And most importantly, in his own memory, he did not undermine all further. Life after forgiveness will need to build from scratch.
- Try to perceive her infidelity as a painful condition, an accident, a kind of neurosis, from which you are ready to cure it.
It is not always possible to forget the infidelity, especially if this is not the first time, with different objects. The wife repents, but no one can be sure that this will not happen again. It’s also difficult to close her eyes if it’s not an affair, but true love . And if the thought “I cannot forgive my wife’s betrayal” pursues you, then in such cases it’s still more constructive to part and build new life with another girlfriend.
Sometimes it’s important to think together about this topic so that other values make a decision. Did you forgive infidelity? Do you forgive her? Esther Perel is a famous Belgian psychotherapist who now lives in New York. For 30 years he has been devoted to couples treatment and study. The last 10 years have traveled the world, collecting information about this in different cultures.
Infidelity in marriage has devastating consequences. Suffering from infidelity causes such terrible pain that it is even considered worse than the death of a spouse. Marriage ends in an extremely painful way, especially if there are children between them. There are some who are experiencing infidelity, but only as shipwrecked, who remain drifting, allowing the current to take them where they go, and ultimately live in a marriage that is actually dead.
How to restore relationships
- devote more time to the spouse, her interests, life;
- remember more often the romantic moments of living together, the first meeting, feelings;
- give her flowers, say compliments, celebrate her actions directed at you;
- take care of your appearance - a taut neat man is more attractive;
- talk sexual preferences, perhaps they also need to be audited and something to update.
Opinion that strong men do not forgive, erroneously. It is inspired by a society in which clear roles have been distributed to everyone, and the male role is a strong, rude, somewhere hard person. The lady will not consider you a weakling, if you forgive her for love. But as there is no universal recipe for happiness, so in marital infidelity There is no one piece of advice for everyone. Characters, behaviors, life goals and feelings between you - this is important when deciding how to build the future. But life together is possible only with complete forgiveness - now you are new people.
Infidelity yesterday, today and forever
Men and women experience the experience of sin. Marriage suffers from the effects of this experience, but Jesus comes to meet us and exalts marriage with the state of Sacramento, giving us the grace to fight all difficulties. Infidelity is one of them. Infidelity exists from the very beginning. As Esther says, even in the 10 commandments it is mentioned twice: one in the 6th: “Do not commit bad deeds”, and the other on 9: “Do not agree to unclean thoughts”. God, knowing the nature of sin, warns us about the falls that we may have in this aspect, both in action and in thoughts.
Family life consists not only of the positive moments. The most unpleasant of them is the betrayal of a loved one. If one of the spouses decided to commit adultery, then both are most likely to blame. Women more often forgive unfaithful husbands. If the wife begins to walk, the spouse first experiences shock. After realizing what happened, the man is at a loss, does not know whether to forgive the betrayal of his wife. Let's talk about this issue in more detail.
Man and women are wrong
Both are equally strong, both of which cause one pain. It is important to remember this. The point is not that a person is more incorrect than another, it is just another moment when the differences between men and women are obvious. It is said that women are wrong because they seek a close bond, and men cannot maintain such a bond. Men brag about their conquests, women are silent about their desires. Personal knowledge and understanding of our differences is the key to understanding our temptations and falls.
Infidelity: The Antidote to Monotony and Death
Why is infidelity happening?
Statistics say that women's treason occur much less frequently than males. If this happens, it means that real problems have appeared in the family. If the spouse is sure that a betrayal has happened, before attacking his wife with reproaches, you need to find out the cause of the incident. Knowing the reason, it is already possible to make some decision - whether to forgive the girl’s treason or not.
The desire that makes you feel alive
What happens if the wrong one is me? What is he really looking for? Where do we want to go? What is it? What is missing? Infidelity, which may be hidden in each of us, often occurs in response to unresolved problems, rather than a dialogue between spouses. Giving us the opportunity to win by monotony or being in a state of pain can cause us to lose the sense of our lives, and infidelity can appear as a window full of emotions that makes us feel alive again. Infidelity has nothing to do with our spouse, but with ourselves, with our shortcomings, and with our uncoordinated personal stories.
Regardless of what reason pushed a woman to such an act, does not justify her behavior. But you need to know about them in order to find a way out of a difficult situation. The reasons for treason are as follows:
- revenge spouse for treason. A wife can wait for years before she gets a chance. And if the wife managed to take revenge in this way, she will calm down and there will be no repetition;
- insufficient attention from the spouse. Many women complain that when they come home, they have to do a lot of work. This is despite the fact that they also work, get tired, not less than men. Her household chores are not really appreciated, and her husband is paying less attention to his wife every day;
- dissatisfaction with sex, silencing this problem;
- in love This reason is considered the most serious and dangerous. If a woman is fascinated by another man, then the probability of family disintegration increases several times.
To forgive cheating on his wife, each spouse needs to decide for himself. If a woman confessed that she made a lover, try to understand the reasons for what happened, and only then draw conclusions.
Infidelity really does not have much to do with sex, but with desire. Desire to be heard; The desire to be meaningful to another, the desire to be young. Desire is that which moves and causes treason. The fact that you will never have your lover will make you want to continue. It’s almost like a drug addiction, but with awareness we can develop strategies for dealing with desires that are so intense.
In particular, today, thanks to technology and the fact that it has become a marriage, infidelity not only causes pain, but also personal injury; Even generates identity crises. We can be viewers in the first row of infidelity of the husband and find out the dirtiest details. Today infidelity gives rise to very deep identity traumas, possibly deeper than at any other time. Knowing this should in itself generate a brake before considering indulging in behavior, which lead me to infidelity and provoke such a deep pain in those whom we promised to love for life.
Is forgiveness possible?
Men who are faced with betrayal of the spouse, are wondering - is it possible to forgive the betrayal of the wife, is it necessary to do it.
To accept correct solution , do not regret later, the husband needs to honestly answer the question: can he, and most importantly, is he ready to live with the woman who betrayed him? Not every man will respond positively to such a question. Whether or not to forgive the betrayal of a girl, of course, every man must decide for himself, depending on the circumstances and the reason that prompted his wife to such an act.
It is incredible, but it is not impossible to find the infidelity. Forgiveness of infidelity is almost a sin. In a world where the only thing required is to be happy and that happiness means no pain and sacrifice, forgiveness of infidelity is something crazy: “But you are stupid?” “Lawlessness never changes”, “Of course, the other does not want of this, so she returns. ” So many comments that come even from the family.
Moreover, apart from forgiveness, it is the grace that God gives us in the sacrament of marriage. You can forgive. Forgiveness does not mean turning the page. This forgiveness requires commitment and restoration. The first step is to recognize the wrong pain that he caused, and was open and ready for restructuring, step by step, marriage.
Making a positive decision, you need to understand that you have to live with this woman further, to pretend that nothing happened. If, however, constantly remember his wife about her mistake, then a normal and peaceful life simply will not.
In any case, in the question of whether to forgive the betrayal of the wife, the following important details play a role:
It is these dialogues that will generate a new reality in which you can freely talk about those topics that you never wanted to touch on. Esther Perel says that infidelity is like a cancer: it can kill you, but if you survive life, it acquires a new meaning. The task of dealing with the betrayal of infidelity can lead to the restoration of a new marriage, to new agreements, to deep conversations about the problems that affect them, and to the final solution of personal problems.
Let us remember that the sacrament of marriage fills us with grace to cope with the difficulties that are happening. Christ is the source of this grace. "For just as God once met His people through a union of love and loyalty, now the Savior of people and the Bridegroom of the Church through the sacrament of marriage come out to meet the Christian spouses." Stay with them, give them the strength to continue to raise their cross, rise from their fall, forgive each other, bear one another's burden, be “subordinate to each other in fear of Christ” and love each other With supernatural love, delicate and fruitful.
- financial side family relationships . In some situations, a divorce requires large investments. Therefore, you can forgive the betrayal of his wife. Most likely, as time passes, passions will die down, relationships will be restored;
- common children. Because of the conflicts of the spouses suffer children. A man in such a situation is ready to forgive his spouse, thinking of the children. In some cases, the couple continues to live together only until the majority of the children;
- emotions. Almost all men treat their wives as their property. Therefore, it is very difficult for them to endure the betrayal of a beloved woman. Emotions prevail, it is difficult to make the right decision.
A man faced with the betrayal of his second half, it is quite difficult to decide whether to forgive the betrayal of a girl. But it’s not for nothing that men belong to the representatives of the strong half of humanity. And if they manage, perhaps family life will turn for the better.
Reasons for forgiving infidelity
These five reasons tell us yes. Sometimes forgiveness of infidelity is necessary for several reasons that concern us. Sometimes out of fear or fear that people will criticize us for having forgiven treason, we do not do this, and this has far worse consequences. The answer is yes, although it takes a lot of time and costs a lot of tears.
Of course, you must be very clear if you are ready to go ahead, despite this stumbling or, conversely, the disappointment was so great that you prefer to stay there. Although for some couples infidelity is necessary, for others this is the worst betrayal that you can expose to your boy or girl.
The question of whether a man can forgive the betrayal of a loved one, in the process of thinking about the situation, it is important to pay attention to their health. This concerns the physical and mental state. Betrayal of the beloved is a serious psychological trauma, so before drawing conclusions, listen to the following recommendations:
- try to calm down, do not make hasty decisions;
- it is necessary to wait some time for the pain from the betrayal of the spouse to calm down;
- wait for the moment when you can make sober decisions.
Can a man forgive the betrayal of his wife? Of course, but not in a depressed state. Explain to the wife that you need time to calm down, correctly assess what happened and make the right decision.
This is an opportunity for personal growth.
We know that it is difficult to understand that they have horns. Let your boy explain himself and tell you why he has reached this moment and what is missing in your relationship. If your reasons convince you, and you sincerely see that he repented, you will understand that, having forgiven him, you will grow internally. We are talking about maturity and the possibility of overcoming the hardships of love.
When you know that your partner is unfaithful to you, it’s likely that you won’t be able to keep your mind off the idea of seeing him with another person. But perhaps it was just a timely mistake, and the reality is that she just loves you.
Living with guilt or resentment does not only harm us psychologically and physically. Forgiveness does not mean an immediate start; you can take the time you see fit. And, according to a study by the American University in Iowa, 52% of people who pardoned infidelity compared with those who did not, suffered less heart attacks, arrhythmias, hypertension, and depression.
When is it worth giving a chance?
So, the most terrible and unpleasant in the relationship happened - the husband learned that his wife had changed. Whether to give a chance to the spouse? Can a husband forgive his wife's betrayal, or is it better to leave immediately? There are opinions of psychologists that it is worth giving a spouse a chance under the following circumstances:
- This is an isolated case.
- life together before female intrigue was perfect;
- it's hard for you to imagine a further life without your beloved wife;
- dependence on the partner. And no matter what the nature of the addiction. In some people, it takes painful forms, they tolerate all the adventures of a partner;
- sincere repentance of the partner;
- you feel confident that this will not happen again.
If a girl has changed whether to forgive, and hope for further happy relationships, you need to decide on your own. You can listen to the advice and opinions of friends and relatives, but you need to make a decision yourself.
If it is difficult to cope with the problem of betrayal partner, you should seek psychological help. As for how to forgive the betrayal of a wife, the advice of a psychologist is as follows:
- when the betrayal became obvious, think about the fact that for some time you have lived in such a state with a partner. Everything was wonderful until the truth was revealed. So calm down and think about how to fix the situation;
- try to get to the bottom true motive treachery;
- even in the most difficult and seemingly intractable situations, think that there is always a way out. The main thing is that all relatives are alive and well, and everything else can be corrected if desired;
- if you really want to return happiness to your home, then you will succeed.
You can use the advice of a psychologist how to forgive a girl's treason, or resolutely end any relationship with an unfaithful wife.
It’s one thing to forgive your wife’s cheating. But, such factors as self-esteem, self-esteem, physical and mental state after the discovery of betrayal should be taken into account.
- Try to understand that the life of any person belongs only to him, as well as the opportunity to dispose of it. This of course does not mean that the spouse can do what he wants, ignoring the norms of behavior of family life. But everyone has the right to make mistakes;
- do not stoop to revenge. This will not lead to the return of relations, but only worsen the situation;
- if you do not know how to forget the betrayal of a wife, then tell her about it with dignity;
- you are determined to continue living together. This means no longer remember partner about change. No need to slander and poke her about it.
Restoring lost confidence is a difficult moment in family life. A partner should know how to beg forgiveness from her husband for treason. She is obliged to break love affairs and provide evidence. Wrong spouse must understand what to do so that the husband forgives betrayal finally. Much depends on the woman.
Important advice for women whose husband was born under the sign of Pisces. If you confess in connection with a lover, then try not to tell the smallest details of betrayal. It depends on whether a Pisces man will forgive his betrayal. The sign is different delicate and refined in kind, so to save at least some feelings, save him from the unpleasant details. Pisces has its own, certain image of the beloved, so do not destroy it. It is enough that Pisces gives you a chance.
Forgive the betrayal of his wife, does not mean, under convenient circumstances, to find her a replacement. Do not do this for your own respect. If you feel discomfort in the presence of a changed partner, it is better to disperse. You can just stay in a good relationship.
It is important to understand and know that when you decide to live together, get married, you may be surprised by different kinds of surprises. And if a betrayal happened, then keep the mind and calm to make competent conclusions about how to forgive the girlfriend's treason.
Probably every girl is faced with the problem of overweight? After all, sometimes it is not easy to lose weight, look slim and beautiful, remove the sides or belly. Diets do not help, to go to the gym there are no strengths and desires or it does not bring tangible results.When is it worth giving a chance?
Who said it’s easy to create a new account and start a relationship from scratch, knowing that they have betrayed us?
Did you forgive infidelity?
Do you forgive her?
What is he really looking for?
Where do we want to go?
What is it?
What is missing?
Is forgiveness possible?
In a world where the only thing required is to be happy and that happiness means no pain and sacrifice, forgiveness of infidelity is something crazy: “But you are stupid?